what day is it and did you see me today?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize