Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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