do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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