Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
