there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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