apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
