We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
