my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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