No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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