Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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