We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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