I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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