Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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