i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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