An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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