Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
