i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
