I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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