I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize