he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
