i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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