the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
