In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
