discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
