i permit you to call me
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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