So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
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Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
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You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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