I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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