Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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