He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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