just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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