She announced her abortion via fbk
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
