You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
