Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
