I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
