just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
