I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
