Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
