atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
