How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
