She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
