Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
