Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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