hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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