In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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