On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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