...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
