I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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