Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
he just fucked me for my cheese..
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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