Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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