so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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