he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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