Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
