I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
