i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
