...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
