i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
