How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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