I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
