I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize