HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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