Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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