You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
