My first STD was from a foam party
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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