goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
