We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
